Relationship Issues

Relate better

Learning to relate with one another again is so important to rebuilding a relationship. Actively listening to your partner without blocking the words as you consider a reply is so important as a starting point to learning to love again. We work at evolving your relationship so you feel good with one another again.

Communication issues

Couples will often say that its the first time they have felt heard for years when they come for counselling. Outside of the office it can be that both parties shut down and get on with their busy lives, not realising how important it is to spend time together without a distraction, but just talking about their dreams, ideas and feelings.

Step-children

It can be really difficult for children when their parents make the decision to go their separate ways and suddenly they are faced with another person in their absent parents place. For the new step-parent they can feel unable to parent but resentful of how they see their partners children treating them

Partner having an affair

When you find out your partner has had an affair it can feel like the end of the world and hard to imagine that you can repair it. It may be surprising to learn that actually many couples have said, although the experience was hell, they realised just how much they loved their partner and after counselling they began really communicating again and dedicated time to one another and that they were glad it had happened because it felt like a re-boot

Social media issues

When your partner enjoys participating in Social Media and you don't it can feel like there is another person in the relationship. Often clients will say that they feel their partner became dissatisfied, self critical of themselves and almost addicted to the constant upset of comparing themselves which impacted on the whole family. Family members report feeling lonely, unimportant and abandoned and jealous wondering who the other person is talking all the time.

Gaming and relationships

When your partner enjoys "gaming" on the internet it can just be a "bit of down time", like a hobby, but it can become addictive and encroach on relationships and family members time. Sometimes people will stay up late or into the early hours which then has repercussions the next day on their work, or family life, Clients often say they feel very lonely in the relationship, unimportant and disappointed like they have been abandoned.

Texting & Chat Rooms

When we discover that our partner has been intimately texting someone we can feel totally shocked and sickened hardly able to believe, at first, that it can be them. The betrayal can feel no different to that of finding out about an affair. You may find it impossible to understand their feelings or excuses and find you have an immense amount of resentment

Intimacy Problems

When a relationship becomes intimacy less and one of the couple still yearns for an intimate relationship it can become very frustrating. Not being desired can leave someone feeling unloved, unwanted and unsexy. For the person who no longer desires intimacy it can leave them feeling a failure or useless and fear deeply that their partner will find someone else.

Clubs

For some couples they may enjoy meeting up with others for intimacy for instance at a party, club or with friends. If what started out as fun and acceptable, starts to feel unacceptable to one of the couple it can be difficult drawing back. It can evoke feelings of jealousy, insecurity and loneliness, and too embarrassed to share with friends and family is un-talked about.

Dependence/addictions

Dependence in a relationship consists of two components, an addictive personality and someone who is co-dependent. Co-dependents hide behind others and are submissive, they rarely stand up and put in place boundaries instead they tolerate the behaviours and therefore facilitate the dependence. When they do feel safe, perhaps as the children grow up and they become empowered they will often feel its too late to make changes.

Abuse In Relationships

When we find ourselves in an abusive relationship whether financial, physical, mental or sexual, it can often feel like a surprise when we come to the realisation. This is because abuse often happens slowly and our partner will often persuade us that it is our fault and had we not done this then it wouldn't have happened. We can find ourselves demoralised and confused, we love the very person who is hurting us and we can often find excuses for the behaviour

Gaslighting

The term gaslighting comes from a film of this name. A gaslighter may say the words I love you, but their actions just don't fit. They will constantly remind you of your flaws, will not accept you pointing out a fault out, instead they will become loud and animated and say rude and disrespectful things and when you repeat it swear blind they never said it. Being in a relationship with a gaslight can feel like you are walking on egg-shells.